better now

the cat and i spent most of yesterday morning in vet offices. we went back to the one i have been using with joshua there to help. everything worked out well but we had to go to a specialist in kc. that cost another $250. turns out it is probably just a bad case of a feline herpes outbreak. i told the specialist it was the week before finals and he said that maybe cassady was stressing for me. funny.
i am not so mad anymore. we have two sets of eye drops three times a day, a goo to lick off his paws, and two more liquids to shove in his mouth. looking forward to finals!
i was inducted as a member of phi alpha theta yesterday. joshua attended and took one picture. just one. and you can not see my face. boys.
we are going to work on finances now so we can make things better. did i mention the hundreds i spent on the cat? joshua has been helpful about it.

do not mess with my cat

There is nothing like going to the doctor to make you feel stupid for skipping science class. They can tell you anything and you will believe it simply because you know no better. After a $30 co-pay and $15 for the generic medication, hopefully, you are on your way to better health. That is if you have insurance. If not you had better hope the doctor accepts payments or you may have to stay after to wash dishes. I ran up a 10k doctor bill when I was 21 because I did not have insurance. I have some now. The cat does not.

Now imagine it is not you who are sick but your cat. If you are like many your cat is a member of the family and there is nothing you would not do for the sick animal. The problem is you still skipped science class and therefore have no clue what the vet is talking about.

This is exactly what happened to my cat Cassady and I. One day Cassady’s eye swelled shut, I decided to wait to see if it got better the next day. I was not rewarded for my wait as he seemed worse the next day. Fortunately, my vet had an appointment for me first thing the third morning. By this time both the cat and I are miserable.

Everyone at the Lawrence Veterinary Hospital seemed very helpful and caring at first. The receptionist gets me right in with what I will call the nurse for a lack of a better idea. She does the usual, weight, temperature, and symptoms while we wait for the vet. We have a few moments so I tell her about how he gets colds all the time with sneezing and mucus. Then the vet arrives to look important and sound serious. He tells me, after a cursory look, that it may be an abscessed tooth or a tumor and that we will need to sedate him and take x-rays. At this point I should add that my childhood pet died of a tumor in his ear.

I tried not to get emotional because it is the week before finals and I knew I was stressed. Then comes the good news, it may run as much as $465 and some odd change. They drew up an estimate for me to sign and I agreed instantly because I just wanted my cat to be alive and healthy. Then I left him there. I received a call later from the vet saying that all of the x-rays and tests were complete, meaning all my money spent, and I could pick Cassady up around 3pm. Moreover, he had no clue what was wrong. The nice nurse showed me how to administer the meds and how much and often. We went home.

Three days later the cat and I were both just as miserable. I called the vet back and the nice nurse lady answered. She sounded genuinely concerned and suggested I come in the next morning to see the other vet in the office who has years of experience with cats. This remark sounded odd but I let it pass.

By the time Joshua and I returned from the movie later that night I was about to cry from looking at my poor, miserable cat. Joshua decided to Google it and in two minutes had the answer. Cassady has a very common case of feline herpes. The key word in that sentence is common. I am just glad that my job making $10 an hour was enough to cover the $465 vet bill. I am going back with my digital voice recorder. The cat and I are pissed. We want the money back and proper treatment.

happy birthday cheryl!

it is officially dead week. our library has decided to stay open 24/7 and service coffee, tea, and cocoa. this is a good thing. i may just take them up on that. i continue to work hard at the papers i should have written weeks ago. i still have made no progress on my african warlords paper but all the others are coming along. this is really all my life is about currently so no fun to report. except that joshua and i did go see 'for your consideration.' any who want to laugh at hollywood should take the time to catch this flick.
today is my sister's 30th birthday and i called her earlier. all is well in t-town. they went out to celebrate last night and cheryl got a tattoo. i forgot to ask what of. no more time for now.
must write papers...

out from hiding

i never finished the paper on african warlord politics but i did get a few pages into it. now i am plugging away at my historiography and hoping i am moving in the right direction. it is nine pages currently and i am no where near finished. this is a surprising change of pace as i am usually short, not long on my papers. today is to be devoted entirely to writing as i still have a paper on kwame nkrumah i have not even begun writing that is due wed. i am not sweating it because i have done all the research.
we are slowly crawling out from the ice. i liked the snow but the ice was a bit dangerous. i nearly wiped out many times. now if i could only get joshua to finish with the garage so i can park the car there. it would not have helped much this time as the ice prevented me from getting the car up the driveway. i was a fun game though, i would drive up and the car would slide back down. i finally had to park in the empty house next door's driveway.
must be short today as i need to spend my writing energy on school papers. i wonder if i could just turn in my blog url and ask for a grade from it?

winter wonderland

i skipped classes today to write a paper and the entire world turned to ice. i got out last around noon and the rain was becoming harder. by 1pm it was icing and by 3pm it was a complete mess.instead of writing my paper i decided to take a short break to watch black hawk down (i am doing african history, it was 'research') and never made it back to writing. joshua then came home and recanted a tale about getting up and going to work at 3am and nearly burning down the office with a faulty toaster. the smoke detector did not go off until the office was full of black smoke. and then the absent minded professor did not notice the alarm for a bit. by the time he got to the toaster flames were shooting out if it. i arrived several hours later to find the front door propped open and only the new secretary in the office. she had no idea what happened. i
nearly peed myself after hearing thatjoshua burned his bagel and almost took everything out. i guess it was more entertaining after the fact. i want to go find the toaster and take a picture but the wind chill is around 9 currently and ice is still falling from the sky. i will try to keep up on this one.
on a good note- joshua is cutting a deal for 700mhz spectrum so we will not have to fight cingular over the bleed from their 850 into our 900. this could be a very big deal. toaster burning aside, he had a good day.
things are going better for us after he lost his temper the other night.
if i remember i will put up a few photos, joshua has yet to get them off the camera for me and he took it away so i can not retrive them. this post rambles, but what of mine do not?

more from nc

I visited Mary and Tim! It was just as you might expect, we talked so much that hours passed and we did not even notice. Joshua had to call to see if I was ever coming home again. I will try to take time later to tell more; I just wanted to get something up.

greetings from nc

i decided to post briefly while i waited for mary to show up for our day together. my excuse for not posting has been that i am too busy and at this moment i can not seem to get any work done. joshua has taken to watching random utube videos and it is annoying. i will try to put up a few photos soon of my travels in north carolina. it is beautiful here and very relaxing. if it had not been for the fact that we traveled on black wednesday it would have been a nice trip. i scheduled the first flight out of kansas city and when we arrived there was a 10 minute wait at the sky cab. we flew through nashville and things were not too bad there other than the food lines were enormous. when we arrived in raleigh/durham the airport was so packed that there was little room to walk as the people were standing or sitting on every available spot. turkey was fabulous and i stuffed myself. more to come.....hopefully.

fun with elections

how about a little teaser for now...

Lawrencian
I edited this because the link did not work. Search for the article titled Protesters Greet President Bush in Topeka.

more of the same

this weekend was great. i went home to help host a 50th birthday party for my mom. most everyone showed up and we all ate too much food. she loved the quilt i made her and the cake from merritts was almost as good as the price tag. the problem is trying to get caught up after taking a day off to go to town early because of other people's problems. i think i am getting better at it. i have two papers due next week and a midterm. if i spend all of my time working on them i should get ahead enough to begin working on the historiography due at the end of the semester. who cares if the house is a mess? the laundry is clean and the cat is sleeping on it as we speak. if i get tired of writing i can always fold and put it away. so basically life is normal. i did get a letter from roddy saying that boot camp was fine and he is joining the 101st airborn. i should be proud but i am scared for him. i know this is what he wanted and i should support him. in other news, larissa and i are making another knitting friend who comes to our thursday night group. it is nice to have that time to get away from school and work and housework. and it is nice to have girlfriends.

miss me?

i have been gone too long. my argument was that i was too busy, and i guess that is true. joshua finally tracked down my blog and i am sure that took some of the wind from my sail. no matter, i am back and plan to keep up this time. all kinds of things have changed. i got caught up on finances, am reading my course books, and i even made cake. the guys at work call it my baking phase. i made carrot cake, banana bread, amish friendship bread, strawberry pie, and a birthday cake for leah and becky (they turned 21). no one seems to mind as the food is always gone the next day. we hired a few more employees and are now operating a 7 day work week. joshua got a local investor, the guys got our hotspot payment gateway up (something about layer 2 routing, i am not that smart) and i met a fellow hornet while attending a workshop on financial statements (who cares about balance sheets or a p&l report?)
i am beginning to wonder if anyone will read my blog now that i have been gone so long.
i forgot, this publishes to my facebook automatically, so some will see parts of it, if they see my facebook.
we made plans for turkey day to visit joshua's brother in north carolina and tulsa for christmas. i have started on 4 of my handmade gifts and actually have most of one finshed. larissa and i knit and crochet on thursday evenings and we bake once a month. i told you she was my kind of girl. and i am babysitting tomorrow evening so they can go to dinner. it will be my turn soon. if things go as they are currently, in another year we will be able to settle down, buy a house and start our family.
i leave on that note, long day tomorrow and i still have reading to do.

hmm, time off?

i have not been blogging. school keeps getting in the way. or is it all this work? i am trying to get caught up so that i can knit or hang out with larissa or read a book. every day that i spend working seems to create more work to do. is it supposed to be that way. for now i will have to live with less time to blog and more homework. if i get caught up at work i may be able to have a normal life again.

lil miss sunshine

the fun never ends. last weekend visiting tulsa was fabulous. i saw old friends from high school, hung out at caz's, got to see most of the family, and then raced back home in time to get ready for school monday morning. school this week has been great. i started my senior year and it shows; many of the classes have culminating papers and i started a class that has as part of its purpose to prepare me for my senior thesis. however, i love it all. none of my classes is dull this semester and each of my instructors is smart, engaging, and seem very capable of helping me learn.
i spent a wonderful weekend hanging out with larissa, going on a date with joshua, and even doing a little homework. the rest of this rainy weekend will be spent doing laundry, reading, and starting on christmas crafts. oh, and i meet a sweet woman at michael's while shopping for knitting needles. she teaches a class on sock knitting which i plan to take next month. i am feeling on top of the world today.
the rain has kept the weather cool and i have felt more up to getting things done. yesterday larissa and i made apple butter; just like my grandma used to make. today i am going to try to come up with recipes using carrots to get rid of the seemingly endless supply in the fridge.
i leave on this statement: everyone must go see lil miss sunshine, if you have not already. i laughed so hard i annoyed the guy next to me with my screeching howls. i can not say enough great things about this movie. if it is not playing in your town, buy it when it comes out on dvd.

are we there yet?

i have not posted in a few days, not because nothing is going on but there has been no time. this weekend was a blur, school started yesterday, work is backed up already, and i need to do the laundry. i will try to spend a little time catching up soon as i have fun stuff to share from this weekend.

ugly day

today was a pisser. mom called at 8:30 to tell me the computer would not turn on; i diagnosed it as a bad power supply and tried to roll over. failing at that i got up to begin my day of work. for some reason i was not able to focus and ended up surfing the internet for a few hours. at about 11 i finally decided to work but found i could not log into the website i needed to work with. so i left to deal with getting a new cell phone for our sales guy. there is nothing that makes you feel more raped than buying a cell phone and plan. with that accomplished i headed back to the office to deliver the phone. the office was a black hole and i was stuck there for the next 5 hours. in order to amuse ourselves we logged into joshua's computer and changed his wallpaper to the logo of our competitor. for some reason he did not notice for a few hours. it is no fun unless the jokee gets mad. finally i made it back home to the stack of paperwork i had to manage before i left the house at noon. tomorrow has to be better.
ps the cat is missing

last week free

happiness continues this week. i have made an absolute mess of my office but that comes with getting used to the space. they are learning to get along without me in the main office and have started sending emails or calling when they need help. i may actually get this together this semester and be a very calm girl. on that note, i heard that one of my professors is very tough and to punctuate that he has already sent the syllabi (two classes with him) and as soon as they let him on a plane back from england he will be sending more info over. i went to school today to pick up the rest of my books so i can get ahead of the game. the books look good so let us hope the classes are fun as well.
i am going home this weekend for one last hurrah before getting crazy busy again. plans have already been made to hang out with friends from high school and my lil sis is coming along. good times, good people. the only drag is that i must go over to the rent house and spray for spiders; they are not able to do that for themselves. and she wants to paint the master blue. i am not sure she saw the perfectly white house; blue? over my dead body. i worked really hard on that place and i want it to stay perfect.

defcon pics

as usual i was being a dork at defcon and decided a self portrait was needed. amazingly enough my camera comes with a self portrait feature. there are apparently enough of us dorks out there to warrant a special setting. i look like my mother in this photo. luckily you can not see the four missing teeth because i conveniently did not smile. joshua looks smashing as usual.

yeah, i am a nerd

by the way...i got a 4.0 for the summer semester.

happy days are here again

larrisa stopped by to return some books she borrowed and sat to chat with me for a few. after she asked how things were (did she really or did i just start ranting?) i went into my usual about how busy/stressed/tired/overworked i am. while i was spouting the same ole i started to get sick of hear myself complain again. so then i told her some of the good things that have been going on. i am getting caught up at work; already purchased my school books and have done a little reading; the laundry is almost finished and the dishwasher is humming its last load; my house is pretty clean and the bills are paid (almost!). it made me feel better just telling her those things. somehow my load seemed lifted and i could see the light. before she left we decided to plan a knitting/crochet group at the local coffee shop so that we can meet other, likeminded (and helpful) people to work on projects with. i have yet to finish my blanket for my mother but i decided to start on a simple shoulder bag for me in the meantime.
life is pretty good today. i worked hard loading and unloading donated imacs to refurbish for a native american after school program (see info).
I hope this look on the bright side feeling lasts. I am baking bread for the boys at work and i do not want to suddenly go into a depressing binge and eat the entire two loaves.

all your base are belong to us

i have been working in the office all week and now feel like i am a true geek.
chown -r us/base
i want to learn a bit more so i can be a better translate for the norms.

hack the planet

so, i attended my first defcon and it was everything i expected. there were geeks wearing black shirts with bionary code messages. joshua taught me how to say 'all your base are belong to us' in unix but i forgot. i decided not to participate in the scavanger hunt even though i could get an automatic 60 points by showing my boobs and letting a team member tag them in permenant marker. the team who drug a 5 foot platform around the contest area exclaiming, 'arg, i am a pirate and i am walking the plank' ended up winning that contest. joshua had a great time but did not end up winning in the bot competition (he would have but the leds stopped working and the university of utah sent an entire class). i was proud of him because he worked hard on his entry. he has decided to win next year so he can claim the coveted black badge. it turns out that computer people are easy to spot, even in vegas. i mostly hung out and watched, caught a few seminars, and made friends with the attendees. a good time was had by all.

vegas baby!

i wait for the plane to open up to let me on board and then it is vegas baby! for some reason i allowed joshua to talk me into going to defcon this year. he said it would be like a vacation. i am not a big gambler and there is something about the desert that makes me think i may not be thrilled with the weather. and yet here i wait in kci for a plane heading to tulsa of all places. who knew that in order to get to vegas from kci one would need to jaunt thru tulsa international airport. i really want to know what international flights are actually going out of tulsa. maybe they were just too cheap to get a name. a lot of airports have nice names.

yea homework!

this post is called avoiding homework. i have one last class tonight for which i am supposed to have a review of a book we read. i am almost finished with the book but frankly do not care to write the review. i think i am burned on school for a bit. we are leaving for defcon in the am and i am not packed. i still need to clean the kitchen and finish some laundry. yet here i sit not doing my homework. i have been fairly successful at avoiding work as well. the only thing besides reading i have done in the past few days has to do with the rent house in tulsa. our new tenants are moving in so i finally had to get everything scheduled. the reading has not been so bad, mostly. we have three books for this class and two of them are very enjoyable; the third is an instant sleeping pill. i guess i will get back at it. do not be surprises if you see another post today. i am really through with the school shit.

just say no

the recovery process is going fine. i long to eat but other than that i am ok. when i talk air rushes out the newly formed spaces and i sound even worse. the lisping with the braces was bad enough. for some reason i can not get the memory out of my head of the nice dentist/doctor prying the teeth from my mouth. i originally was going to take care of myself so i told them local only, no general, so i could drive myself home. they give you the shots like they are going to fill a cavity and then they yank the teeth out. for some i felt the pressure, others just came out. she gave me one stitch for each missing tooth. and yes, they hurt. i had to take the hydrocodone before class and have joshua drive me. then i explained to the nice professor that i was stoned and could not give my prsentation tonight. i wonder if i will get points off for that?

new fashion, teeth removal

i got four teeth removed today. now i have room to move other teeth around. joshua took me out for a last meal at lunch and then drove me around. i had to go to the orthodontist to get my wire removed, have the teeth extracted, then go back to get the wire put back in. they gave me hydrocodone, and a lot of it so i am expecting a little pain when the drugs wear off. i could not feel my face and kept drooling for the first hour. it would not be so bad had i not still been bleeding. finally i just got a towel and let myself drool. i have to keep gauze in the empty spots and that makes me look like a walrus.
last week of school! we celebrate by going to defcon.

i have an office

the housewarming party went well, many family members drove up from tulsa to visit. my mother did not end up making it but she plans to come up at a later time. we ate food and talked until late in the night. this morning i got up to have breakfast with bob and lee before they left town. the party was a good idea. my house is in better shape, i feel good that my relatives like me enough to drive up to visit, and i got joshua to start cleaning the garage. bob also brought up my old moped so that i can fix it up. today must be spent doing homework and getting payroll done.
the boys are climbing water towers to switch out equipment to upgrade the network.
i feel like i am finally getting caught up from the begining of the summer when i got so overwhelmed. i hope this feeling continues as there is still much more work to do. i finally got my office cleaned up so i can work comfortably from home. the missing piece is the cpu that shorted and somehow took out my ups. i was going to replace the power supply with one from work when i realized the the little shuttles have special power supplies. now i have to decide if i want to keep the little shuttle and get a new supply or move to a different box. i like those little mini itx boards and i felt close to that shuttle because i spec'ed it and built it myself.

liberal in kansas

tomorrow is my housewarming party and already my family has started arriving. bob came up last night because he wanted to have time to wander around the lake. the easiest way to get a visit from bob is to send info about the nearest lake and he will show up with a boat and fishing rods. mom and lee are driving up tonight as are my grandpa and uncle. everyone seems to want to hang out in lawrence. i just wanted them to come visit, i had no idea the prospect would be so enticing. joshua has helped around the house and even cleaned the garage a bit despite the fact that he would rather play with the new toy he is building for defcon. we are headed out there next weekend and he just had to enter a contest. i have never been to vegas for work before so this should be fun. am i allowed to write off meals eaten in a casino called circus circus? we got the paperwork back from the irs (finally) approving our 501(c)4 status. i am officially an employee of a non-profit organization.
on a happy note, i finished ny constitutional law class today and turned in the paper i wrote for a final project. bob asked me about my subject over breakfast this morning and i had to tell him that his daughters were liberal and he did not want to know that information. he replied that at least one of his daughters was a liberal. my answer was that cheryl followed my lead and then that my paper was about how the death penalty violated the eighth amendment. that was enough of an answer for him.

another weekend gone

spent the weekend in tulsa working on the rent house. that was fun. they left the place half way clean but it still required 2 days work by 3 people to get it back in shape. i was mad and wanted to send a bill to him for $3000 for all of the late fees, cleaning, and repair work he owes us but joshua said just to calm down. he killed my japanese maple in the back yard. i called an arborist to see about rescuing it and he said it was a $1500 tree. we have new tenants moving in next week so i guess i am not really mad.
this coming weekend a few of my family members and a couple of friends are stopping by to see the new place. joshua has informed me that there is no hope of getting the house finished in time. he of little faith. usually all i need is for someone to tell me i can not do something for it to get done.

another normal day in kansas

i wrote about a dog on a motorcycle a few days ago and i truely believed that was the oddest thing i would see in kansas for quite some time. it turns out i was wrong. i attend classes in topeka at a lovely university called washburn. it is the only municipal university left in the united states. see fred phelps is the exception, not the norm in topeka. in order for me to get to topeka i have two choices, the turnpike or the country highway. i would rather take the country highway everytime but it does take a few minutes longer so i tend to not go that route in the mornings. after school is another matter, with all of the time in the world i almost always take the winding road that takes me past the goat farm, the buffalo farm, the chicken farm, the people selling hay, those selling tomatoes, and just about everything in between. needless to say, i have seen a lot on that country road. i had not, however, until yesterday, seen a peacock waiting by the side of the road for me to get out of the way so he could cross. i had no idea peacocks knew to look both ways before crossing

rambling part two

so i have been having these sleepless nights, as mentioned in several previous posts, and i usually end up watching movies and eating odd leftovers out of the fridge. the other night while watching swat i got a plate with a little dollop of mayo and a few slices of turkey and cheese to dip (no bread). it was not the 'real' cheese that joshua likes; i bought some fake, processed american cheese slices and i do not care who knows i like fake cheese. these are the areas where there are a few differences between the professor's son and the girl from the wrong side of town. can i help it if i am attracted to smart types who grew up in grosse point and lawrence? this one happens to have had a little easier time growing up. never did he return from school to find that mom had not paid the water bill (or electricity, or gas) and that there was likely nothing to eat in the fridge. this is why to this day i still love to grab anything out of the pantry or fridge and see what i can throw together. during high school we used to make pasta and melt butter and parm cheese on top because that was all there was. another odd trick i learned for after school snacks was to spread frosting or peanut butter and honey on toast or crackers. we did what we could. joshua turns his nose up at many of my cooking trials like that. he has less sense of adventure when it comes to emptying the leftovers into a pot, adding sauce, and calling it dinner. for him there must be a recipe and a timer involved. not to say i do not love him for his silliness, but i still eat peanut butter and honey sandwiches. there are those rare times when i am hormonal that i think he may be judging me for my white trash upbringing. then i remember that i am more cultured, better read, and have more social grace than he. so what if i still eat a tomato and mayo sandwich? i can be white trash in my own home. he ate pork and beans with hot dogs for dinner tonight.

man's best friend

i saw a man and his dog riding a motorcycle today. the man parked the bike, set up an umbrella for the pooch and went inside. amazingly the dog stayed put and the man returned shortly to continue being a freak on a motorcycle with his dog. and this happened in topeka, not crazy lawrence where everyone has an issue (which i will blog about as soon as i have energy).
ramblings part two will come another day as i am beat today.

rambling part one

the last few days have been very odd for me and i keep meaning to blog about them for a little perspective. this may end up being a long session so i might break it into 2 or 3 parts. check back if i end in the middle of a thought. joshua does that to me all the time...we will be in a conversation and all of the sudden he stops talking and...
so back to my ramblings.
my sleep patterns have been screwy the last few months because of demands at home, a little frustration/depression, and the fact that i tend to be a night owl taking morning classes. i know that sentence is out of balance but my english professor is not reading this so i will leave it.
a combination of reading about george's escapades in cali and watching several movies about the socal area have me reminiscing about my days living in san diego. a few nights ago during a very late night movie marathon i watched SWAT whiched opened with the scene of those guys robbing the bank wearing kevlar and shooting cops with armor piercing rounds. it really happened in la. the guys robbed a bank of america and killed a few cops. that memory brought back others of the news footage of the car chases that would shut down the freeways seemingly ever other week or so. the media always had a helicopter there almost before the police air units showed up. they would replay the incident on the nightly news a few times just to make sure we all saw it. i was not living in san diego when the guy stole the tank but i have watched that several times on those police chase shows. at some point one of those chases ended at the border after some idiot not remembering the 30 minute wait to cross raced to mexico with his kid then held a knife to the toddler's throat to bargin for passage. i was also in san diego during the rodney king riots in la which actually effected san diego about as much as they effected dallas. some kids left class at ucsd and sat on the 405 blocking access north but that was all. my grandmother was visiting her sister in van nuys so i was a bit nervous about the entire area burning down. there are many more fun things i remember about sunny california, like the helicopter that landed on the freeway during rush hour and held me up for 2 hours, but none of them are experiences i would like to go through again. i guess the point i am trying to make is this...how did all of the nut jobs end up in on place? i remember now...they heard a voice telling them to go west and they were stopped by the ocean. so why all of the fuss about california? if there is any confusion please take it up with george as she is the current expert on la.
joshua has been talking about new zealand. if things fall through with the current company or go so well we are not needed for day-to-day operations he wants to work in new zealand for a bit. i told him new zealand was fine or oregon. i had a blast on my short trip to the oregon coast. more on that in a bit.

lazy sunday afternoon

when things are going well i tend to not blog as much. that gives the impression that life around here is always horrible. far from the truth. we are doing well, happy and productive. joshua has been working on a new project for fun and that has kept him content. he needed to find stuff in the garage which led to a cleaning day yesterday and help for me in moving boxes, hanging pictures, and generally getting the place in order. except that now i have move all kinds of things out of the garage and the place is cluttered again. as soon as i finish the shelves things should move into place.
instead of working on the house i spent most of the day up at the hospital with the proud new parents, andy and larissa, holding little detroit brown. they have not decided on a name officially but andy has been calling him detroit; i call him junior, junior brown. all fun aside, i need to get into the kitchen as i had planned to have several meals ready for the browns for when they bring the little guy home. i thought it would be nice to not have to cook the first few nights.

life is good

the teeth are getting better. i had a nice day and i even got some work done. today it was easier being me. i woke up refreshed, got a few hours of work in, had lunch with andy and joshua (larissa showed up at the end), went to the office to help out, had a meeting with our grant writer (very cool woman, an okie), and then managed to have a great dinner and go to the movies with the browns. every time i get down about life or anything the tide seems to turn and all is well. and i now have my very own extension at my home office. i can receive calls "at work" like a true professional. no one need know i am probably in my robe or pjs drinking coffee and reading blogs or doing homework.

not on vacation

so i have not been much in the mood for posting these last few days. we were supposed to go on vacation to the grand tetons this week and last minute changes had to be made for work. i was not too terribly upset about it but joshua has been taking it very hard. he has been unbearable the last few days. he works long hours, comes home demanding food, and then reads or sits in front on the computer. now i love this man dearly but lately i want to strangle him. he called today and i was so upset that all i could do was rant about all of the stuff he wanted me to do for him. it really was not all that much but i sort of blew it out of wack so that i looked better. it is not that i like being mad or fighting with him, but lately all i seem to do is demand that he offer more. i am going to try to be nicer to him tonight and see if maybe he is just feeling the same way. this has been a rough time for us and we should not fight simply because life has dealt us a few blows.

i remember

for those of you who came of age in the late 80s early 90s i have a recommendation for you...watch pump up the volume again. it makes more sense now that i am older, but mostly the music is cool. oh, and who knew one of zappa's kids was in it? i really thought i could change the world after watching that movie for the first time.

pain

so i have not written for a few days. i started to write yesterday but all i could think about was my mouth, which is now being referred to as my grill. the braces are a gold alloy. and no george, i have not taken pictures yet. i will, just not until the pain goes away and i can actually smile again. joshua invited me to a picnic this afternoon and he just called to see what i would like to eat. i responded, "juice." there will be no eating until i figure out where to put my tongue. no worries, as joshua explained the first day i showed him, i have been wanting to lose a few pounds. yeah maybe 5, not 20. i can not eat! i have nothing more to say.

start a potemkin revolution

where is my summer going? i start my second class as soon as we get back from vacation; native american history, in celebration of my new status as an american indian! for those of you i do not speak to on a regular basis and anyone i do not know who wandered into my blog, i am now officially a member of the cherokee tribe. i know, it will be hard to continue reading this because you are so jealous that i have something of such value as a cdib card (certificate of degree of indian blood). after my card came in the mail i called my mother to tell her, i had to tell someone, and her first question was, "do you get casino money now?" my proud day of final proof of ties to my heritage and all anyone wanted to know was when the money was going to roll in.
i had already enrolled in the course before the card came in the mail, but that will not stop me from being a dork everytime someone asked about summer class and i repond that i am learning about 'my people.' we shall see how much of the class is about 'my people' and how much is just general history of all native american culture. it would actually be great to learn a bit about central and south american natives as well.

happy again

still busy as ever but things are going better this week. i have been getting things accomplished. i finalized and sent out invitations for the housewarming party. then i remembered more people and sent out more invitations. so far it is mostly going to be family driving up to see me and the new pad. that was the plan so for that i am happy. hung out with larissa for a short time yesterday and felt happy about having a girl to chat with. she is so easy going and down to earth. nothing too girlie or silly about her. must come from having three older brothers.
i am getting my braces tomorrow. joshua has taken to making inappropriate comments about the fact the they are being made in germany. i will leave the tacky thoughts to your imagination. there will be many posts about my new braces at the age of 33 i am sure. and even some about the 4 teeth they have decided to pull to make more room for the teeth they are trying to save. ironic. i am having 4 teeth pulled so that the 2 in front have more room and do not get pushed out of the bone.
we are still planning to leave for the grand tetons sat or sun. it is a 17 hour drive from here. i think we are both trying to decide how long we can stay in a 2-door car before we kill the other. i always sleep in cars and that leads to snoring. joshua whistles, which drives me nuts. he also never stops moving. i know i will love the hiking part but the getting there part will be a challenge.
i am finally making progress on the house. the living room is looking better; we finally decided to go ahead and keep the tv and put it in the living room. i finished painting one bookcase and unpacked some smelly candles. things will be much better when all the bookcases are finished and i can unpack the 10 boxes of books. i am getting impatient.

feel better already

it must have just been hormones or stress from a long day. today has been much better with no sad face or lamenting that i have no friends. i spent the day studying, cleaning, and inviting. we are having a housewarming party the end of next month and i sent out my invitations today. that is what really made me feel better because the first person who responded said she could come. no one wants to have a party where the guests do not attend. i have yet to have one of those but i am always worried that this time people will have something better to do. i invited a few family members, some friends, out of town friends, and the people at work. it should be an entertaining event.
at least i know people do like me. larissa called today to see how i was doing. it made me feel so good i talked until her phone died and we got cut off. i spent the next hour worrying that now she does not have a phone to call if the baby comes. then i remembered that the people across the hall are friends of her and andy. the week looks promising. i am hopeful.

happy birthday eric blair

sleepless night. there are a million things i should be doing. the house is still disheveled, there is a test to study for, and i could be working on the website. today i helped the browns move. i saw a few people i know and met several more of the army of friends andy brown keeps up with. it reminded me that i have not really done well with my attempts to make friends. i have been hanging out with larissa a bit and i email people at times. oddly enough it seems that i just do not have the energy to keep up with friends these days. i am planning this housewarming party in hopes that people will feel more comfortable coming around and hanging out with us again. the party is also in hopes of convincing my family that they need to come see me. my sister used to always complain that no one would visit her in dallas. it is going on two years that i have been here. i do not want to whine or gripe because everyone seems to be just as busy as i am these days, but i would even settle for a card in the mail. not one card for my birthday this year. none of them. joshua got me a card though. he loves me. i digress. for some reason i am a bit melancholy tonight.

i really am a happy person

from all of my past post one would like think that i am sad, frustrated , or angry all the time. that is not the case. usually i am happy, in love, and generally in a good mood. this last development blows my stack though. we got the call from the shop about the white car; it has a cracked head. anyone reading this who has known me for some time will realize that this is not the first head i have cracked. the best part is that the first car i killed was an '86, white chevy cavalier and this one is a '97, white chevy cavalier. i am on a roll. same problem both times as well. sort of. the first time i was clueless and let it run bone dry on water and oil. this time the water pump went out and i pulled over the second it overheated. same result. i spent my morning getting joshua motorcycle insurance and dealing with a dead car. the people at the shop have been real nice though; they are paying for the second tow and getting bids from salvage yards for me. i think the guy feels bad because i was about to cry in his office. that and the montgomerys have been doing business with him since they moved to lawrence in '92.
time for lunch and then i am off to help the browns pack up to move tomorrow.

this is a test

the white car died. fortunately not on me. i took my car today because i knew something was wrong with it. joshua got up, tried to start it and then got the great idea that if he let it roll down the hill it would start. this from a man who has a degree in aerospace engineering. even i know that if it is having engine problems you can not pop the clutch. i have nothing more to say on the matter.
i am going to curl up with a really trashy mystery novel by a tulsa author who usually mentions enough local spots to make me feel less homesick.

and now that idea festers

some kind person responded to my earlier post about the car to make sure that the shop was not just lazy. after driving to school this morning i have started wondering if the car really is ok. it seems to take more coaxing to start and to run hotter than before. joshua says not to worry about it but he was the one who said not to worry about the idiot light when it came on and we all know how that turned out. i had a little fit and told him he at least needed to look under the hood before making pronouncements that everything is fine; unless he wants to be the one stuck on the side of the road.
today was spent at the office fixing all sorts of little problems and helping joshua with his work. i said i was going to start working from home but that has yet to materialize. i do not think there is any hope until i get the house cleaned and that will not happen while i am online.

more to come...

got the car fixed. it turned out to just be a water pump, which is better than what i thought. for those of you who know me and are wondering how i could have run down a perfectly new car you can stop wondering now. i was driving joshua's old car so that he could have the air conditioning. his broke and in the kansas heat he was arriving for meetings soaked through his suit. i do not mind the heat, until i got stuck on the freeway.

when does it get better?

the car broke down on the way to class this morning. i was stuck on the freeway just outside of town until joshua came to get me. my professor probably thinks i do not like mondays because i was sick last week. after towing the car to the shop i crawled back in bed. yes it was that depressing. i did not make it into work until 1 and then had a rough day there trying to finish non-profit paperwork with the irs. the evening was spent cooking dinner for my love and cleaning the kitchen. i got no boxes unpacked or even a single room better organized. i tried to work a little on the bathroom but ended up laying down to read my textbook instead. of course constitutional law put me right to sleep so i still have not finished all of my reading for class, and my professor thinks i am a flake for skipping class. tomorrow better be a new day.

Cheeky Monkey..

just the name of this video made me giggle.

happy watergate day

we decided to go for a walk after dinner last night after eating on the patio with the cat outside roaming around. joshua said we had to put him inside or he would follow us and it turns out he did. but that is not the funny part. we just walked around the block instead of our usual mile path and the cat followed us the entire time. after about half way around the block i started to hear an odd noise. it was my cat panting! he is so fat he can not walk a block without getting winded. then he rested for a minute and when i called him he came running like a bat out of hell looking like a bowling ball with feet. he followed slower after that and soon started complaining. about 4 houses down from ours i started feeling sorry for him and picked him up and carried him the rest of the way home. he was still panting. joshua and i were laughing so hard we could not finish our walk. we will need to make up for it tonight as our trip to the grand tetons is in two weeks.

i saw how the sausage was made

wait wait was so much fun. we got to see how radio shows are made and saw mo rocca. i laughed so hard i had trouble breathing. as usual for a show they turned the air off once the recording began so it got a little warm toward the end. after they go through the entire show they have to re-record a few things that the producers think did not come out clear. the re-recording at the end only took a few minutes and then we got to ask questions of the radio personalities. peter sagal was there of course and cory flintoff filled in for carl kasell who had to be in europe for his son's wedding. the panelist were mo rocca, amy dickinson, and roy blount jr. our show will air on this saturday evening, check your local stations for times! and for all of my dorky friends hoping i could be a contestant...it is all previously decided who is on. as one would expect the entire thing is as scripted as can be with a live performance. joshua thinks that it must be pretty hard for the panelists because they are set on stage and told to be funny, no script, just be funny. i know people who are good at that so i thought it would be fun. several people asked how to be on npr during the q&a session. i am sure it would be fun to be a panelist.
no more babbling for now. i am off to work and then joshua is taking me to see a prairie home companion tonight.

i can not wait!

for wait..wait tonight. so that was corny. i spent another 3 hours in the office today trying to get the books balanced. it would help if i had some sort of accounting background for this. after the frustration of not remembering the passwords to the online accounts i left. i went to the bank to deposit check and when the manager said hi to me and asked how i was i promptly told him i was going to see wait...wait tonight in kc. he does not care so why did i feel the need to share? i restrained myself at the grocery store while picking up my really costly allergy meds and a lot of produce that was on sale. i am sure the pharmacist thanks me.

my addiction, today

i think it is time to look into the possibility that i may be addicted to my blog. i started to think something was up when i stayed up late adding 4 entries for one day. then george called and i mentioned how i read everyone's blog each day and the fact that derek had not written for several days had me on edge. i think i am addicted, not only to my blog but to reading the blogs of those friends who are far away. i have yet to hit the random button and read the blog of a complete stranger, yet. i know there is nothing really wrong with my need for blogs but it could be a gateway thing taking me into chat rooms and then one day i will leave my family for the internet taking only the computer...nope, that wasn't me. i am in a good mood today because i had two phone calls from friends, people i have known since high school. now i get to go unpack more boxes and figure out where i put our tickets for wait, wait.

i slept

for those of you worried that i might go postal from lack of sleep, your fears are allayed; i slept. this was unfortunately after having a nutty. anyone who has spent any time with me knows that there are two things that must be kept up with: food and sleep. i get very cranky if i am lacking in either. after my nutty joshua and i decided that i am to go back to work on the non-profit side of the company spending about 20 hours a week in the beginning telecommuting. i worked this last part out simply because i do not want to be in the office with him when he starts yelling at people. he always starts with me.
so i begin work again tomorrow at 1pm.

a new day, a few hours later

i did finally sleep, for a few hours. i would have stayed in bed if it were not for class. i am taking constitution for teachers which turns out to be a class studying the supreme court. apparently it matters not what the framers said but rather what the court thinks they said. i like the instructor and it has been a decent class so far.
today i will get back to unpacking and putting the house together. no more rushing to be other places, i am now free to move at my own pace. the plan was, and hopefully still is, to have a housewarming party next month in an effort to motivate me to get the place put together. the only other plans this month are to help larissa move and get my braces on the 28th. next month we are going on vacation with joshua's family to jackson hole. i have never been but i hear it is beautiful.

pics are fun

this is me not sleeping still...i decided to go through boxes and i found a jewel of a pic. if you know me you will have either been at this party or heard of it somehow. i just have to say that we love v all the more because she lets us giggle with her.

sniff, sniff

my allergies are keeping me awake. they made me sleep all day sun and most of mon and now i can not sleep for the sniffles and the breathing problems. i spent a few hours online surfing then tried to get caught up on reading for class. now i am back online and no closer to sleeping.
i find my favorite just from the fridge snacks are lunch meat and cheese rolled up together. nevermind that joshua says american cheese sucks; i like it and i am the one who does the grocery shopping. i cooked dinner for us tonight and it was pretty bland. i am doing more missing than hitting on the cooking scene lately. i should go back to my trusty cookbooks and make some good food so joshua remembers that i can cook and he does want to come home for dinner. tonight he politely ate some of the meal then fixed a bowl of cereal. this is how i know when he does not like it because he always professes his love for everything i fix.
another turkey and cheese rollup and i am back to reading.

i return

sleeping makes it all better. i no longer itch and i am starting to feel human again. sunday i got up and started to put the house together. after about 2 hours of that i got tired and took a nap, a long nap. not only did i sleep most of yesterday but i slept through my class this morning and after i got up i felt crappy. mom thinks it is allergies or maybe strep. joshua thinks i am allergic to hippies. i got out of going back to the festival yesterday and all of my stuff was delivered last night. i have been working around the house slowly and finally got my computer put back together. we are testing some wireless equipment on my desktop for the apartment complexes. it is just a wireless adapter that connects via usb. i think it is cool but the problem is that i am getting the signal from the office instead of having a unit attached to my house so it is slower. i need fast internet. i work for an isp, i should have great internet. instead i am the tester.

civilization means showering

i finally made it home from hippiefest. i immediately jumped in the shower to start the process of returning to my normal human state. things would have been fine had i not forgot about the heat rash. i now itch all over again.
joshua's friend matt joined us at wakarusa so he could watch the flaming lips. while waiting for the show he somehow convienced me that creating a myspace page would be fun. i then spent the next hour surfing for people i know. it turns out that more people have pages than i thought. i found quite a few people i went to school with; and even some i like! so after adding them as friends i wait to find out if they will return the favor so that i will have more than two friends listed on myspace page.

it itches

so it turns out that i am allergic to the sun. after a day in the heat and humidity i broke out in a rash that drove me nuts. big red bumps all down my leg. i tried to not scratch and put ice on them but that was little relief. turns out that the spray bottle of aloe vera i brought in case of sunburn was the only help.

i did get to wander around the festival a bit and see what was here. i found a couple selling flavor ice that you get in the grocery store 20 for $1 for $1 each. we saw a tattoo artist working his trade, a rasta dj spinning, rick's mom's pasta, and fried oreos. there were so many other sights i could hardly imagine had i not seen for myself. the paper reported that 15,000 people would enter the gates each day.
we are going home tonight so i can shower and treat my heat rash. also because i was just supposed to help out and i have been running the booth every day for the past three. it has been a nice relief from unpacking though.

waka waka

day three began muggy. i tried to sleep late but could only stand 9:30. the chance of rain has gone up to 80% and now they are predicting hail. hippies, rain, what else could one want?

as requested i took a picture of my feet. this elicited guffaws from my coworkers. they do not know fun when the see it. most need to drink beer to have fun. i am having fun just watching the hippie parade. some guy this morning elected himself traffic cop and started yelling at the cars to keep moving. i think they would have removed him had he not been so efficient. the hour for throwing water from an outdoor faucet over a sweaty half naked body has commenced. i am just happy they are bathing.

more waka pics

another fun day at wakarusa. sales have not been good but i am still enjoying myself. i have yet to get a good picture of the booth so i will just put in a boring one.

a man was arrested earlier for throwing water ballons with a sling shot.

pictures

here is our mobile hot spot unit...

day two....and i showered

it is a good thing i have allergies and can not smell. the port-a-johns have a sign on them stating that they are not to be used by more than 10 people for one work week. 10 people for 5 days is 50 for one day. my belief is that there are more than 50 people using them in each day. and there are three 20 yards from our booth.
we did not camp last night but plan to this evening after reverand horton heat since the show will be over late. tommorow evening is les claypool and the flaming lips which are the acts everyone is here to see. so far the internet sales are slow and every hippie in the place thinks we should give them free access.
the johnnie on the spot people are here to empty the johns....i could have lived my entire life without witnessing the removal of human waste into a large tank. where do they take it after here? is there a dump somewhere or a fertilizer plant that transfers it all into eco-friendly stuff?
there are hundreds of volunteers wandering around directing the hippie walk-way and keeping cars out of the way. they are also passing out recycle and trash bags every time we enter the park.
my job today is to convince all that they want to pay 50cents a minute to use our computers or pay 20 dollars for wireless access for their laptops. i have a feeling i will be blogging quite a bit today.

the unwashed masses

are all here at wakarusa. today was challenging . we had technical problems most of the day but things ended up ok. i will load a few pictures later.

fun in the sun begins

wakarusa begins in the am and we are still up at the office working. it is almost midnight and we are to set up at 6am. here is to hoping this is all worth the effort. if we actually have customers then we could seriously make money at this, if no one knows we are available then it could all be a lot of work for nothing. i had planned on not really doing much but as it stands now i will be managing a booth with desktop machines for rent by the minute. i still have to go home, pack for the next few days and help get the equipment together. when does the fun begin?
no more tonight.

moving is good exercise

so we finally finished moving. i have no internet access at home because the signal from the office is strong enough that we do not need an access point. this works well for joshua and his wireless laptop but my poor little desktop and my ancient laptop without the built-in wireless are completely unconnected. for that reason i must sit here at school in the lab checking my email and keeping up with finances.
i started summer classes yesterday. it should be fun. the first class i am in has a total of three individuals. i bet they will notice if i sleep-in. it is called constitution for teachers and has actually proved quite interesting so far. the instructor is knowledgable and the subject one i am not very familiar. we will consentrate mainly on the supreme court interpretation of the constitution so i bet i will learn more than if i had just watched my dvds of west wing.
later today joshua and i are going to kc to help his cousin move there from st. louis. did i mention moving was a lot of hard work? i was so tired today that i had trouble getting out of bed. this is my new workout plan. i will place an ad in larryville lending my moving services in order to trim up and lose the extra weight i gained over the winter.
wakarusa starts on thursday and we have visitors staying with us. this was joshua's brilliant idea. i had trouble finding towels yesterday and he allowed people to come stay with us this weekend. that plus we will both be at the festival most of the time. we have yet to decide if we are camping. as part of the contract we got daily passes and a nice camping site. now if we can only make enough money from the gig to pay the expenses.
www.wakarusa.com
i just want to find my stuff, get the house decorated, get back to working, and have fun with summer school. i have yet to find time to spend with my friend justin this summer and other than packing larissa and i have spent little time together. i hope next week is slower.

its friday!!!

i would not normally be so excited about a single day of the week, however, this day brings a relief. tonight at 5:30 we must leave for KC to catch a plane to chicago, rent a car in chicago and drive to some town in indiana i can not pronounce. all of this because joshua has a family that does stuff together. his cousin is getting married.
so first thing this morning i got a call from mike, joshua's dad, to ask if we had hotel reservations. no mike, i got plane tickets, car rental but i forgot the hotel room. it seems that they could not find my reservation and ASSUMED i had yet to make any, so the mother of the groom made another reservation for us. never mind that there was a note on the invitation about a block of room reserved and which hotel we should use. i followed instructions and still i am treated like a kid who eats paste.
joshua has just learned about the blog and wants to make sure that he is not mentioned in it. how selfish of him to assume that i would speak about him. this is for me=]
today is day four of moving and it looks as though we may finish today. i hope so because i could not possibly come back to this. i look forward to somewhere indiana.

a new month

as i begin day three of packing and moving i realize that what does not kill you only makes you stronger. literally in my case. my calves still hurt from going up and down the stairs. thank god the new place is only 1 story. i have been lifting heavy boxes and working hard. other than here in this blog i have not complained but simply asked for help. larissa and andy stopped by last night to help move a few loads and this morning joshua is taking off to help with the garage and the heavy stuff. i am reminded that i am loved. as sore as i am i see things going better today. let us hope the attitude helps.

and so i laugh

laughter really is the best medicine. so that is what i do. in order to not give up. i have not reached the crying stage i think because larissa has been with me the past two days helping, packing, talking, and generally keeping my spirits up. the new landlord is dropping off the key in a few minutes and it appears that i may have burned the rice.
time for a graceful exit...

is it too late to burn everything?

i wander through a sea of boxes, empty shelves, stacks of linens, and cleaning supplies. the cat is playing jungle kitty among the packing materials. joshua and i are trying to pack for the next few weeks as we have events planned every weekend and most of the weeks. i am certain that if we tried the two of us could not have packed so many activities in two weeks. after moving for the next two days we will fly to somewhere in indiana i have yet to learn how to pronounce, return in time for summer school, help joshua's cousin move to KC, provide wireless internet for a major music festival two days later, and camp at the event for 3 days. all of this is to take place while joshua works and i attend classes. it is hard to believe i am dreading this.

dog days of summer

i spent an hour and a half working to get a table into joshua's tiny little car. after that i drove to tulsa in a car with no air conditioning. then the aforementioned table had to come out of the car when i dropped off stuff at my mother's new apartment. it was hot and i smelled all day yesterday.
most of the early hours on friday were spent doing research on william burroughs for todd. he wants to buy the burroughs house and make a museum out of it. i found the gentleman who owns it and got todd the information. this could be entertaining.
more family stuff to do now: visit the cemetery, go see mom, take care of cheryl's pretty puppies. hope the family reunion is bearable this year.

where do the days go....

i used to think the day would never end and i would have to sit at my desk in class forever; now i lament the rapid passing of the hours, days, weeks, and years. my plan was to go in for a few hours to help leah learn the ropes at the office and i ended up drawing many more tasks to keep me busy throughout the week and into the next. i do not complain the act of working but i do mind the addition of more crap loaded onto my already full plate. and for some reason i thought i would have all of next week to pack and as it turns out i need to be finished monday. this is going to pose a problem seeing as i had already planned to go home this weekend. my family reunion weekend may be cut short. never enough time.

another sleepless night

no real reason to be up, no real want to sleep. i am sure to regret it tomorrow as joshua has asked me to come to the office and work. they hired a new bookkeeper and i am to help her on the finer points of the office. sometimes i wish i could be some dumb trophy wife with no real value other than looking good; then i could claim ignorance on all matters and not be required to help out everytime a new staff member needs to be shown the ropes.
but we have our funding and things will go well for another month.
i just finished yet another tacky novel and have decided to put my mind back to better pursuits with a gabriel garcia marquez and then possibly a henry miller for some excitement. then i can really get into the two political books i picked up yesterday. that first thus of jack kerouac was in great shape, i really should head back and pick it up for todd and make it a nice surprise. for $45 i bet it wont sell tomorrow. my bookstore days were so much fun, now that i look back on them. i chatted with my friends when they stopped by, read whatever i wanted, and learned a great deal about books. i think it may be time to stop back by the oaktree and say hi to old scotty.

moving makes me crazy

and i keep putting it off. larissa and i avoided it yesterday by shopping downtown. i found a p.j. o'rourke novel i have yet to read and a book written by eugene mccarthy. it is no wonder i like my poli-sci courses, i have politics on the brain even at the bookstore. today has been another successful avoidance of packing. i mostly pouted in my room and racked my brain as to what we will do if joshua loses funding. then joshua called to say funding came through for the month and he wanted help making a splinter removal kit for the investors who have been sitting on the fence for 5 months. i wrapped the packages up with ribbon and included hand lettered name tags. these sort of antics should really not be encouraged but i could not help it; i thought it was funny. let us hope joshua never finds my blog because i told him it was childish and not funny.
andy and larissa stayed for dinner last night. we made andy cook and we chatted the entire time. i fixed bread pudding for dessert and helped andy find everything in the kitchen. we started around 7 and spent the entire evening having a great time. it was a reminder of how good it is to have friends. joshua even commented on how good of a time he had. with that success it is hopeful that we can start leading a more normal life with friends and evenings spent laughing.

where is the camera?

this has to be a candid camera moment. the electric company just called to say they never received my payment. in this day of technology how do i prove that my payment company sent an electronic payment to them which cleared my bank as if it were a debit transaction? the nice woman on the phone wanted me to fax a cancelled check. these are the times when technology is evil.
i need desperately to get the house packed, update the website, and record the finances yet i am in bed reading a really bad mystery novel simply because it was written by a tulsa author and has mention of tulsa places. i need to go home for the summer.
speaking of which, i also need to fix the school situation and find out if i really am going to have a class this summer. it looks as though the main class will be cancelled due to lack of enrollment.
yesterday was also the discovery day of yet another bit of fun; we will have a little less than 24 hours to move into the new place because the people in there could not find a house to buy.
i am going to get to work in hopes that makes me feel better.

chocolate milk makes it all better

i had to post that things are better now. joshua came home and calmed my fears of the world crashing down and selling all of our stuff to become gypsies. i am still packing and joshua is working from home. tomorrow will be better; i have a lot of chocolate milk. and bread pudding.

i should have stayed in bed

really, it would have been easier. i stayed up late reading again and when i awoke, shit had already gone downhill. joshua is having trouble with the investors and it looks as though we may have no more money for the project.
after that i draw a complete blank. there was life before freenet, we will do just fine after...but oh wow, this is shitty. i do not guess we will stay in lawrence now. or it could be that he stays at work until he fixes it, although how he is going to fix this one is beyond me. i meant to email the investors after they left and tell them what a great time i had and it was nice to meet them and now that i just want to ask them why? why ruin things for me? i had school almost finished and we were going to actually talk about a more serious step and then maybe kids and happily ever after.
...
i realize i just ended my hope for happiness because of one silly twist. maybe i should try to be more optimistic. think of all that we have learned from this.
i have learned not to get settled. and do not buy too many dvds because you have to pack them when you move. maybe i should take up tv watching instead. i cancelled the cable because it was brought to us by the media monopoly in larryville and we do not support the devil.
i have stopped shopping at walmart and only buy my gas at qt. we are good people and we pay our bills on time, why is it so hard.
i have a feeling i should end this post before i get mad or start crying...
maybe i will not get out of bed tomorrow.

days away

i have been gone only a few days but everything seems to have changed and it all is exactly as i left it. joshua made a mess of the house and took two days off while i was in tulsa. i ran around like a mad chicken the entire time home. first it was a quick trip to paola to stay with my aunt and leave early for tulsa. then we left late, had lunch with the grandparents, picked up my cousins, they dropped me and left for okc. i had to call my uncle for a ride, deliver dinner to my mom, and then got stuck at another cousin's so my uncle could run back to work. after work my step-mom picked me up and i thought the relaxing would soon begin. after getting back to my dad's my sister called and needed a car. we dropped one for her and went out to dinner. soon cheryl called and needed money for sam who was stuck at qt having pumped gas and had no money to pay for it. we drove to owasso, paid for gas, then i was dropped with my sister so i would have the car for the evening. i ended up staying with my sis, mom, and cousin danny for most of the evening and on into the night. that was friday. saturday begun early (8am) and kept going until 3:30. i then took a nap, waited for my aunt, dropped off my cousins, and we were off to kansas. i will leave the rest for another post if i feel it is nessesary to tell.

music makes you dance

i went out to see live music tonight. initially it was just to get out of the house and hang out with larissa. the type of music mattered not to me and i was actually under a false impression they were a blue grass band. turns out "brass and grass" are a very jazzy brass band. it was great! they had a tuba player and i danced about half of the time. larissa's brother plays the trombone in the band which was how she found out about the show. i felt like a normal person tonight; one who has friends and goes out to have fun.
while the very pregnant larrisa danced, andy and i talked about the days in which we used to party all night years ago when we were young. i told him about all-nighters at ikon. i flashed back to nights spent dancing my ass off and resting on the couches.
tomorrow we are having breakfast with the investors and then going to meet the man who owns william burroughs' house. they want to buy it and turn it into a beat museum. my beat fasination and thompson thing is serving me well here. we spent all evening talking about burroughs, thompson, anais nin, henry miller, and ken kesey. i loved it but joshua was bored.

time to blog

i started this thinking that it would be fun, but i never follow through on anything. i have never finished college, i am divorced, and i quit working because it got in the way of school. it has only been a few days but so far i like the idea of writing stuff down somewhere. i tend to want to communicate when there is no one available to chat with me, or i have just a few minutes so starting a conversation would be pointless.
i spent an hour on the phone with my mom today and that went fine. cheryl called last night to complain about her (mom) but i was in the middle of the dinner party and could not talk. i wonder why she is fine on the phone with me and annoying to cheryl.
note to self, do not give mom the url of this blog to check in on me. family feud would insue.
time to get out of the house. it is beautiful today and i need to get outside.

the day without end

i made it through the dinner party. turned out to not be a dinner party so much as a chance to eat all the appetizers and talk while dinner got cold. we did finally eat a tiny portion of the painstakingly prepared meal, albeit a little late and a little cold. i had better get used to these silly entertainment evenings where i am expected to play the role of the perfect housewife. the fare was good, conversations better, and i held my own with the investors. i am just happy it is over. tomorrow i can begin packing and doing all of the normal things that need to be done around here. oh, i had my molds done today and paid for the expensive braces. my appointment is for june 29th =at least they will be hidden. now to do something with the ugly glasses...
off to read more of the strange true crime novel and maybe a gardening book.

what day is it?

i have lost all track of time and reality. staying up so late caused me to sleep in and then goof off all day. larissa stopped by and we went antique shopping for her brother. after a quick stop at the store i was home to finish the finances and start working on tomorrow's dinner with the investors.
who said i could cook? i know it was not joshua, he is not impressed by my fare. and i am not allowed to get fancy because the point is to get more money out of them by showing how poor we are. maybe compared to malibu vcs we are poor but i have never had a new car, two story house and not worked before. i guess it is joshua's job to make the money so i should not complain.
tomorrow i go in to get molds done of my teeth for the strangely expensive braces i will be wearing soon. after much debate i gave in and opted for the ibraces that are worn on the inside of my teeth. i believe that small nazi women have to make them by hand with carving tools and rare animal bones. i feel very silly. two more years in braces and my teeth will be good. now i can use the home bleaching kit the dentist gave me to make my pearly whites pearly again.
time to make the donuts. i still remember the nights we would stay up til the wee hours and wake up george's older sister so that she could go make donuts. those were the days.

again with the writing

i slept. and then i got crappy emails. how dare he scare me into thinking i never sent my final. i emailed it on friday and i emailed it to him again today to prove i was right. if this counts against my grade i will seriously have a nutty. i will have a nutty on professor white. sorry, i am focusing.
i did get a nice email today from my friend justin. it is sort of silly that all of my new friends are so much younger. and not simply because i am back in college, larissa is a friend from lawrence, not college. she and i spent hours gabbing yesterday. only a month or so until the baby comes and i can play with him. she still plans to go to the festival very preggers and is totally fine with that. you have to admire her strength.
justing has invited my to watch the dictator with charlie chaplin and nosferatu. we just finished european history and felt it apropriate. i need food and the post office.

summer time now

it is quite obvious to me now why i always try to stay busy. at 3am i am still reading the true-crime novel, wandering the house in search of food and pointedly not sleeping. how is it that a job or morning classes can regulate my sleep so effectively? or is it that i am simply revolting against the weeks of hard work to finish 4 papers and 3 final essays? at least there are no more nazi books beside the bed, joshua is happy for that.
tomorrow i plan to begin a few weeks of domestic bliss involving at least one dinner party and much packing for the move across the street. actually it is through the back yard and across the street. i also hope to finish at least one hastily begun craft project, possibly even start more. larissa is a great craft buddy and i think we will be working on several projects together in the coming months. she sews, crochets, and knows how to use joshua's tools. i want to make floating shelves for the walls and i am afraid that i will cut off a finger with the jig saw. it may be time to get over this fear. but not right now.

it's sunday, that should be enough

i stayed up late reading a book for enjoyment. i know it sounds silly but i have not read a non-history book in months. i did not even think i had any on my shelf, but it turns out i bought a great true-crime one a few months ago.
today i am supposed to hang out with larissa and look at baby clothes with her. she is so nice sometimes i wonder if i am just forcing myself on her because i have no other friends in town. either way we are both free for the next few weeks and if she does not like me it's too bad because i am going to be around.
i wish i had not broke my phone. then i would have a few numbers and i could call people. lunch-time....maybe i will post more later.

school is out for the summer!

i am mostly just happy that i do not have to write anymore papers. if they told me i would have to write so many papers i would not have picked history as a major. what am i going to do with a degree in history anyway? i keep telling myself that i will continue with the education part and become the best history teacher, just like mr. marcum, but then i put off the education courses again.