sleepless in the third trimester

i have reached the sleepless stage of pregnancy. well, i sleep but it is in fits and spurts. some nights i sleep very little and then nap a little during the day. some nights i sleep all the way through and then nap a lot during the day. who knows, i may be getting just the right amount of sleep over the week but in strange amounts. we are still working on the house. the floors are done, air conditioner is in, and joshua's shed is up. he has to have them come back and fix the roof of it but otherwise it is great. he takes pictures of it all the time and since he moded his iphone to connect to his flickr anyone who cares can see it. his account name is oojoshua. please ignore all the unflattering pregnant pictures. i am just happy he is interested in filming me at all, i look like a cow. the reason i got out of bed tonight is because i was hungry. i wake up in the middle of the night to eat now. or sometimes i just need a tall glass of water, with ice. i have been eating a lot of ice. tonight it seems that a few mini scones and some dried papaya are all i need. i cleaned the kitchen yesterday and joshua wanted to know if this meant the baby was coming. he did pay attention in birthing class when they talked about nesting. now he wants another sonogram to make sure she is not breech. i have tried explaining that the birth is a month away and she has plenty of time to turn but he is still worried. he can now feel her and tell that she is laying sidewise with her head in my side. i should get some sympathy but instead he is worried about his child. at least i know he will make a good dad. he bought batteries for all the smoke detectors and three carbon monoxide detectors. i am just excited to get my new washer and dryer. i can not use them yet because the plumbing is not secure in parts of the house so we can not turn the water on. i am biding my time. they are so pretty and new. i even went out and bought the special soap for the washer so i would be ready. mary already posted a clip about the happy song it makes so i will not bother.

new floors

So I realized that not only have I not been blogging but I have not put up photos of the new house. It is still being worked on so we have not move in yet but I did get most of my new floor today and am so excited to see the finished product. They will start sanding and hopefully get the finish done tomorrow as well. The hard part then is the wait for the floors to dry so I can get back upstairs. All of the main rooms are on the upper floor so I am stuck in the basement until they finish. Maybe this is a good time to shop for light fixtures. I have been to Home Depot just about 20 times looking at everything. The couch arrived today as well. It is beautiful! I bought it online. I have never purchased furniture online before, it was a little scary. It came from Target so I figured it was safe. Tomorrow I get to clean the basement walls and putty. Joshua won't let me paint or I would start on that as well. He bought "odorless" Kilz, how many really think it does not smell? Our house was unoccupied for 3 years because it was foreclosed so with no light or air the walls got a little mildew in the basement. It would not be a fixer upper if there was not a lot to do. Just for fun I will put up a photo of the kitchen before and then when it is finished I will add an update.
Notice the lack of cabinets and appliances. We have had to do everything in the kitchen. It is a small room though so it has not been too bad. It is a cute little house, just big enough for the three of us. It is more like 2 1/2 right now but I am getting bigger by the day. We are in the 33rd week. I could do without the heartburn but I am not looking forward to the sleepless nights. Fortunately, I am having her around the holidays so everyone is able to visit and I will have a lot of help in the beginning. I am starting to get a little nervous.

is it tomorrow yet?

i spent another weekend at home. this will be my last for a few weeks. it was an average weekend but i was just not having a good time of it. i spent time with my sister, brother, dad and step-mom, and even got to see george and derek. i should have been happy. my mother called and left guilt-ridden messages and then proceeded to call me 20 times in one day. i think it may be time to cut off her phone. cheryl and lee both want her to have one but i for one am not happy about her harassing me. i ended up spending most of sunday sleeping because i felt bad and then had a terrible night sunday. my daughter is still exploring her space and sometimes really gets to kicking me. that plus the heartburn made it a rough night. i finally got out the door monday around noon then had to stop half way and take a nap. when i arrived home i was sad, tired, and not feeling great so i went directly to bed. joshua came home with a hideous handle-bar mustache that he thought was funny and then told me i had to put up with it for another month. that really did not sit well with me so i got even more depressed. a warm bath helped a little and then i decided to continue on my quest for new decorations for the house we bought. really all i need is a good cry and some cookie dough. maybe i can even get enough energy to go to work tomorrow.

a new day

joshua and i are taking the day off. he is still in bed at noon. that is the best place for him. he has worked so hard this year and has been supportive of me through everything. we are going to have lunch with friends, yes friends. we have two nice couples we hang out with. actually they are the girls from my yarn group and their husbands but joshua knew one of the husbands before we moved here and the other is an engineer so we are hoping they speak the same language. after lunch we will hang out a bit and then head to kc to have dinner with joshua's cousin and aunt. i actually need to end this now so i can make my hair lay flat.
i just wanted to say that today seems like a better day.

coming to terms

it has been a tough month. i almost said weeks but then i realized that it has been longer than that. my wonderful second dad died august 11th and i am still working that out. he was a father for me when mine could not be. and even though my mother left him when i was a teenager he still was my dad. he helped me with homework, helped pay for college, gave me advice when i asked and was going to be a really wonderful grandpa to my audrey. my step-father passed suddenly at the young age of 52. we are all still trying to pull ourselves together and work through the pain. lee and his girlfriend will move into the house once it is fixed up for them so we will always have a place to go visit. mom still has a hard time talking about it with anyone. i do ok except at night when i have stopped thinking about my everyday life. last night was pretty rough and joshua did not know what to do with me. he wants to be able to fix everything and there is really nothing he can do. if i craved ice cream or pizza he would run to the store for it but there is nothing really i want.
my sis just called and we talked for a while, comparing our lives. remarkably, we are going through the same stages. i told her that i keep thinking about the little things like the state fair coming up at the end of the month. bob always took the kids to the fair. his birthday is next month, what will we do? christmas will be the worst i feel, or maybe when audrey is born. i got online with the tulsa world and read the nice things people said about bob on the guestbook. that made me cry as well.

the travelers return

we are back from the family reunion and i am happy to say that no one was hurt in the final days of forced family love. it was another awesome cruise and i was glad to see my sisters. ashley is looking very preggers and we are excited for her to have another boy. i, on the other hand, just look fat. i wish i could put up a nice, cute pregnant pic but they all turn out with me having a double chin (which i do not have, yet) or there is an abundance of fat hanging from my arms. i will see what i can do about having some photos specially edited to show the belly but not the other horrible side effects of pregnant existence. i can not really spend too much time here, my mother-in-law will be here in mere hours!

our alien

we had our sonogram and it is an alien. all of the measurements are right on for the due date for december 2nd. and it is a girl. they took a picture of her privates to show us. joshua is coming to terms with the fact that there will be more females in his house than males. he is just as happy as i am that she is healthy looking and has good measurements. we sent the pictures to a few individuals but i did not force it on any who did not want to see. if you can tell what the blobs look like then i would be happy to send the pictures. to me it looks like an alien. but she is my alien and i love her.

happy 4th!

no rest for the wicked

tomorrow is the big day for us. joshua and i are very excited to find out the sex of our baby. the sonogram is at 9am so i do not have to wait long now. before bed last night joshua placed his hand on my belly and just left it there for a while. i thought he was asleep but then he said he was trying to feel the baby move. these past few weeks i have started to feel small movements but apparently they are too small to feel from the outside. the journal i have says the baby is big enough to fit in the palm of my hand. that seems so small to me considering the movements and my size. i tell joshua that it is easy to tell this is his child because the little one is always moving a foot, always kicking me.
i took the day off yesterday and slept mostly. today i need to finish laundry and really start working on the little one's room. it is piled high with crap that i can not find room for elsewhere. i still have a number of months left but i would like to get something put together soon. the crib is ready for us to pick up we just need to find time to drive up to des moines and get it. i love the fact that joshua's crib is the one we will use for our child; i am sentimental like that.

strange days

some days you think are going to be great...and then you leave your phone at home and your family can not reach you so they call your boyfriend instead who has to deliver the news of a death in the family. on a good note i had a great hair cut and pretty stripes put in my hair today. your stylist should be a form of therapy. one of the guys who works for us is dating a great stylist so we had a good chat while she added my pretty colors. i have decided i can become a trophy wife if given the proper resources and the right motivation. i like to have my hair fluffed and my nails done and all the girlie things.
not much to say tonight. i need to pack a small bag for tulsa and maybe put a pretty color on my toes. good news is that my stepmom bought me a black maternity dress so i already have something to wear. no need to worry, it was not a close family member but those who know me understand that my mom's family is close so i need to be there to be supportive. i actually feel a bit guilty for not being upset. i had not seen her much these last 10 years so it is not someone whose presence i will miss. i hope the family holds up alright.

proud parents

i am starting to wrap my mind around the parenting idea. i have had an ideal pregnancy so i tend to forget at times that we will be parents this year. joshua attended my appointment this week and was able to hear the heartbeat with me. he is very calm and seems not excited at all about the changes to come. the only time he becomes agitated is when we discuss financial matters. he wants to buy a house before the baby comes even though i would rather wait. we are renting a small place and i do realize that more room would do us good but i want to wait for the right place first. i am more excited about getting this place ready than spending hours looking for a house.
we leave for another family trip in a few weeks and i will finally be able to spend time after to change my craft room to a baby's room. i should get the crib from joshua's parents later this summer and then all i need is to convert the dresser to a changing table. i believe my stepmom would rather i buy all new furniture so that she may help pick it out. she has already purchased a new wardrobe for me and several items for the baby. joshua is crazed that we have so many items already for a baby not yet born. my sister gave me her stroller as she is getting a double and it comes with the infant seat and two bases. i am a bit amazed at everything already. it seems i shall not want for much and yet i have dozens of items in the baby registry at babies r us and target baby. still no pictures as i still just look fat. maybe i will feel more up to it soon. i have gained a total of 7 lbs to date, 4 this month. the doctor says that is great.

more late nights

i have started to get my energy back and am able to stay awake late like i used to. i had my usual thursday with the girls and came home to watch a movie after. i am almost like my old self except that my pants do not fit. i still plan to take pictures soon.

summer is here!

i am enjoying happy warm days with no coats. also all the new clothing my step mom bought me. i am starting to show and so now when i wear my regular shirts i look a bit pudgy. the girls in my knitting circle claim i really do not look fat because the weight is all in my belly. i had to get new pants since mine do not fit well anymore.
i guess i should confirm, for those i have yet to speak with, i am having an alien, or a child. the verdict is still out on that one. we should know which version next month. i am thinking about posting a few pictures because i am starting to show. it is a little odd. i have wanted children for a few years now and i am finally starting my little family with joshua. no one told me i would have crazy dreams. i thought i would gain a little weight maybe get sick and complain about my back hurting. instead i have strange dreams and i have lost my mind. pregnant woman lose their minds. i will try to get a picture up soon.

i should be sleeping

i have this weird problem recently having to do with being tired all the time. i come home from class and can not keep my eyes open long enough to study or do any reading. i decide to take a nap and then two hours later wake up feeling better. this is fine except that i have trouble sleeping sometimes after my nap, even if i am tired. i know it is mainly hormones making me tired but there must be something i can do to get around this problem. i have tried staying up and not napping but that just makes me cranky (and we know joshua loves me when i am tired) and then i tend to sleep for 12 hours. it is nearly midnight, i am exhausted and unable to sleep. i do not want to take anything because i tend to get more tired with medication. maybe this will simply be a good time to get caught up with my blogs. i got a new camera for my birthday and will try to post some pictures. it even takes 30 minute films so i have a fabulous one of a certain someone in drag at a benefit show! if not properly bribed i may post it soon.

hopefully more to come...

no time to clean

Life has turned into a roller coaster again. I just got back from a two day conference in Wichita, meanwhile Joshua had a meeting with a town north of Wichita about setting up a wifi project. He then headed to Tulsa for some computer boards, a PE stamp on some drawings, and a meeting with the guy who runs Tulsa metronet. He left Tulsa around 10:30 and ended up having to stop half way for rest. After arriving in Lawrence he went straight to work and finished his presentation for Friday. It is now 9am and he is just now home. I am up and about ready for class. Once I am finished with school I have a work project due and my knitting circle that takes place every Thursday night. Joshua will leave this evening for Wichita and give his presentation in the morning. He will rerturn home tomorrow night and we will get a few hours together after work. Saturday I am headed home for a barbecue thrown in my honor and Joshua will be playing the role of a leprechaun in the St. Patty's Day parade. I return Tuesday and will head back to work because my boss will be out Wed and Thurs for her chemo treatment. This is very typical.

spring

apparently i am not alone out there in cyber land after all. i assumed that no one would read my blog since it has been months without a post. my vet sent a donation to the local vet school in cassady's name. they also sent me a condolence card right after it happened. for those i have not spoken with, cassady went into kidney failure and we decided to not prolong his suffering. it was a very hard week but joshua helped me through it.
in other news, we are trying to have a baby. i am sure this will also be shocking. it must be part of my martha stewart phase. i will try to keep up to date with this developing story.
i really do like spring. winter is not my favorite time but spring and fall are beautiful seasons.

in a weird mood

it is late and i am sitting up surfing in bed. no real reason, just insomnia. that has been happening a bit lately.
i miss my cat.